it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Help me help you realize you are a moron
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
