so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
