Do you still have your period?
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
