No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
