are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I will pee on everything he values.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
