Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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