everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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