i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
