My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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