I faked an abortion last night.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
