btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
