yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize