she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
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