I wanna bring you to show and tell
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize