my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
