Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
