I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Its about making memories worth repressing
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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