I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
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