Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
