i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize