Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
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