like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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