is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
