what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize