ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
