guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
