Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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