Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
