Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
