I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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