What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
