That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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