Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
