okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
