you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
