So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize