Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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