she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Pooping to opera.
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