I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
