i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
