i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
