The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
