ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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