So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
