would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize