Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
