In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
