my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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