Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
