i permit you to call me
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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