Your tits are I can't wait for
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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