You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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