im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You were trust falling into bushes
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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