Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
