I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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