I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
