She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
