More tranny stories later!
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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