wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize