Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
