It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
