Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
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