these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
