Where is the hickey?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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