? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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